When You Don't Feel Like Tapping
The annoying thing about EFT is that it only works if you do it. Those of us who have been tapping for a while can attest to this frustrating fact. The thing is, even though tapping is so powerful, a lot of the times when we need it the most, we don't do it.
We tell ourselves we're too busy to tap right now, or we pretend the intense pain or stress we're feeling is no big deal, or, my personal favorite: "It won't help."
Even though I've been doing EFT every single day since 2008, and have experienced my share of EFT healing miracles, both personally, and professionally, I still have that thought. And what I notice is that I only think that about my own stuff.
No matter what issue a client comes to me with, no matter how traumatic or devastating, I’m totally confident that I can help them to completely and permanently heal it.
But when I have an issue, something from my past or my present day life that is upsetting me and stressing me out, that's when that niggling thought arises: "It probably won't work. Why bother?"
Why do I only have this thought about my own healing and not that of my clients? What is that? In a word, it's fear.
One of the biggest fears that can keep us from doing EFT when we need to is the fear of going into the issue and facing how it really makes us feel. This fear can be quite intense, even when you’re not conscious of it.
As I often tell my clients, going straight into the heart of an issue can be painful and frightening, and it often takes real courage to do it. Sometimes it can feel like it’s easier to avoid healing the issue, even though it's still causing you to suffer in the midst of your avoidance. Have you noticed?
Another thing that can make us not want to heal is the fear of releasing a chunk of our conditioning that we've come to think of as who we are. The ego (our sense of identity) gets very cagey at this prospect, and often pulls all kinds of clever tricks to keep itself intact, unchanging, and forever in charge.
God bless the ego! It is so innocent and fearful, thinking that if it can just control everything, it will be able to create some security for itself. And that's okay. That's just what egos do.
Many years ago, a client said to me, "This is going to sound really weird, but doing EFT on my childhood makes me feel like I'm erasing myself. I realize that that sounds bad, but it's not. It's really, really good."
I wholeheartedly agreed with her. It is good! But let's face it, if there's one thing the ego doesn't want, it's to be erased! In actuality, your identity will not be erased when you heal, but it will change in certain ways, and the prospect of that can feel scary.
When the change actually occurs, you’ll realize that there was actually nothing to fear, because the ways in which your identity has shifted are all positive, and the core of who you are as person has remained the same.
One of the things I love the most about EFT is the way that it helps you to meet yourself exactly where you are. So when you find yourself in this predicament of being in pain, knowing that EFT will help (while simultaneously asserting to yourself that it won't), and afraid to enter into your pain to heal it, simply begin there.
Just start tapping the side-of-the-hand point and say to your hurting, frightened self: "Even though I don't want to tap on this issue (name whatever the issue is) because it’s too painful and scary, I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve love."
And, "Even though I know that tapping on this issue won't help, so there's no reason to bother even trying, I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve love."
And, "Even though I know there is no way that EFT will heal this issue—I’ve had it for too long, it's too big, it will never heal, and I will never change, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Just keep tapping on statements like these until you feel comfortable moving more deeply into the issue. You'll know when it's time to get more specific, to tap on the heart of the matter, because you'll want to do it—your resistance to tapping on it will be gone.
Until then, just work around the edges of your pain, tapping away whatever layers of doubt and resistance you may have. The tapping will release the inner barriers you have to healing your issue, and then, once those have been tapped away, the tapping will heal the issue itself.
Throughout the process, be as kind to yourself as you possibly can. If you feel scared, acknowledge your fear, and commend yourself for having the courage to face things that are difficult and painful for you to face.
Healing yourself with EFT can be an arduous and complex process. If whatever you’re working on feels overwhelming to the point of retraumatizing you, or you simply don’t know how to go about unpacking it all so that you can completely heal it, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner. A good one will be able to guide you through healing any issue with compassion, patience, and skill.
Whether you endeavor to heal on your own, with the help of an EFT practitioner, or both, remember that no matter how much you're hurting, you can heal. Completely and permanently. And when you do, that healing will change your life in seemingly miraculous ways.
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By Heather Ambler
Heather Ambler is an EFT practitioner and mindset coach. Through her private practice and online programs, she’s helped many thousands of people all over the world heal the pain of losing a loved one, recover from trauma, release fears, erase limiting beliefs, increase confidence, and achieve goals. If you could use some help with any of these things, click here to learn more and schedule an EFT session or free consultation.
